The year gone by, and the year ahead

So I've managed to procrastinate writing about 2004 until 2005. But what does a few days matter anyway? After all, calendars are man-made. The actual process of reflection should be on-going.

When I look back on 2004 and ask myself: what have I achieved? I'm afraid the answer has to be: precious little. At the end of every year, I often find it disappointing how little progress towards my life goals I have made. And yet, collectively, when things are put in perspective, I think I don't do too bad. I often feel like I could have done more, and that I'm running out of time. But then, I often forget how young I am as well. True, some 22 year olds have done more. But on the balance, I'm just on the right side of okay. After all, things take time, and many of my projects/goals are fairly long-term. As long as I'm headed in the right direction, I guess I shouldn't feel too demoralised over not having done massive amounts in a calendar year, because time is a continuum.

In the year past, I have:
gone on a roadtrip - _{lived my dream. and done a million and one things that i had always dreamt of. all the places i've been, things i've seen, food i've eaten. it was possibly the high point of my life so far.}
taken a leap of faith and acted on instinct _{- going over to the States to go on the roadtrip with X who I'd met on the Internet. which turned out to be the perfect decision. because he is a darling darling boy and my personal hero and star, even though we quarrel loads and our personalities and views clash violently. Thank you!!}
kissed boy Y _{- which eventually helped me realise that I have...}
gotten over The Boy _{- in the dying days of 2004, after 3 years and 4 months +, I realised that I was actually finally ready to let go. I'm over him. Free from most of his Shadow. I'm finally ready to meet new boys without baggage from The Boy (just even older issues that I have about boys in general), ready to fall in love. and so I...}
tried Internet dating _{- yep. taking things into my own hand. - it's a new experience}
met some good people i like on the internet (not the same as internet dating) and in real life
started work _{- and mostly still loving it}
gotten to know people of different nationalities and cultures, and made new friends - _{finally expanding my horizons, which was my reason for leaving my homeland. and though i know they will never read this: thank you L for being there. and thank you J for listening, support, teasing, and for "e*, you're broken. you need someone to fix you."}
let loose a little bit and done a bit of wild(er) partying/drinking - _{finally. need more of that.}
learnt to be more sociable _{- see above two points}
become slightly girlier _{- make-up. wardrobe.}
reassembled my bike and started cycling again

The only big ticket item in the above list is really the Great American Road Trip, Summer 2004 Edition. The rest are smaller steps which have brought me closer to my own personal goals, or a bunch of things that happened to me serendipitously, which obviously cannot count as an achievement. Nonetheless, my life has been enriched by them. Except of course, this girl is annoyingly addicted to the adrenaline high that can only be obtained from big ticket items. And besides, a couple of things on the list have only transpired in the past couple of weeks, and so don't feel like they are even part of 2004 proper. Rather, they seem like front-runners of 2005.

I haven't made New Year's Resolutions in years. Don't generally believe in them. But this year, I've decided to list very few points that I want to work on specifically within this time frame.

And they are:
1) grow my nails - _{i've bitten my nails for all my life bar 1.5 years. i'm going to stop.}
2) run the NYC marathon (and possibly do the London Triathlon. but that's not officially on the list) - _{the girl can barely run more than 2.4km, so this is an ambitious goal. and frankly, i'm not confident that i can achieve it. but i definitely want to do it. and i'm thinking that if i say it often enough, i will believe. and i'll need to raise fund when the time comes *hint* *hint*.}
3) become more girly* _{- make-up. wardrobe. partly pressured by my cousin. but also because it's an essential part of my career.}
4) date** _{- again, partly pressured by my cousin. but then also because i'm ready now, and i want to meet boys now and have light-hearted fun before i fall in love again and become all serious. plus, i put it down because since there is no quota on the number of dates/boys, i have already achieved this resolution. and it's just a reminder to myself to be open-minded.}

Of course there are other goals I'm working towards and other aspects of myself that I'm trying to improve. But those are an ongoing work in progress that I don't want to put in a resolution. This is list is tangible, measurable, and time-critical.

Right.

Come on then 2005, let's rock and roll!!

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<sub>Note:
* time permitting
** time and opportunity permitting</sub>